So I just received my 2016 Canadian Census notice in the mail today, complete with a personalized secure access code, presumably to initiate the self-destruct mechanism attached to the few remaining vestiges of privacy I have in my life, and to potentially out myself – and my family – to both the Canadian and US Governments. In the back of my mind I’m thinking, should I really be this paranoid, just because it’s increasingly likely that everyone is indeed out to get me?
While I have so far managed to elude the FATCA police by sheer luck of having never revealed my birthplace to anyone where I bank, I am now confronted with one of the first true conundrums of my post-OMG moment life – how to respond, if at all, to the following census questions:
2016 Census of Population questions, long form (National Household Survey):
STEP B
1. Including yourself, how many persons usually live at this address on May 10, 2016?
1: Number of Persons2. Including yourself, list all persons who usually live here on May 10, 2016.
1: Family Name(s); Given Name(s)STEP C
1. Did you leave anyone out of step B because you were not sure the person should be listed? For example, a student, a child in joint custody, a person temporarily away, a person who lives here temporarily, a resident from another country with a work or study permit, a refugee claimant, etc.1: No
2: Yes. Specify the name, the relationship and the reason.STEP E
Copy the names in step B to question 1. Keep the same order.If more than five persons live here, you will need an extra questionnaire.
1. Name.
In the spaces provided, copy the names in the same order as in step B. Then answer the following questions for each person.
1: Family Name, Given NameSOCIOCULTURAL INFORMATION
12: Where was this person born?
Specify one response only, according to present boundaries.
Born in Canada
1: Nfld. Lab.
2: P.E.I.
3: N.S.
4: N.B.
5: Quebec
6: Ontario
7: Manitoba
8: Sask.
9: Alberta
10: B.C.
11: Yukon
12: N.W.T.
13: NunavutBorn outside Canada
14: specify country13: Of what country is this person a citizen?
Indicate more than one citizenship, if applicable.
“Canada, by naturalization” refers to the process by which an immigrant is granted citizenship of Canada, under the Citizenship Act.
1: Canada, by birth
2: Canada, by naturalization
3: Other country — specify14: Is this person now, or has this person ever been, a landed immigrant?
A “landed immigrant” (permanent resident) is a person who has been granted the right to live in Canada permanently by immigration authorities.
1: No. Go to question 16.
2: Yes15: In what year did this person first become a landed immigrant?
Example: Year 1974
1: Year. If exact year is not known, enter best estimate.PLACE OF BIRTH OF PARENTS
24: Where was each of this person’s parents born?
a) Father
Mark or specify country according to present boundaries.
1: Born in Canada
2: Born outside Canada — specify country
b) MotherMark or specify country according to present boundaries.
1: Born in Canada
2: Born outside Canada — specify country
The bottom of the notice reads:
By law, your responses will be kept confidential.
Thank you for your cooperation.
Didn’t the CRA also recently insist that their handing-over of the financial information of hundreds of thousands of Canadians to the US Government is also being kept confidential? How reassuring.
Now, I’m well aware that there are a million other data points out there already broadcasting every detail of my life to whichever three-letter agency might be interested, but it genuinely concerns me that this very explicit package of personal information is being demanded so unequivocally, right now, when so many of us are still figuratively hiding in the attic, not all that far removed from Anne Frank – and the Canadian Government damn well knows it. The threat is right there on the front of the notice:
Complete the census – it’s the law.
So, that perennial philosophical question: what would Jesus do?
If you are a US Person living in Canada in 2016, what will you do?
Easy.
Specify country: EU
Boom !!!
In the unlikely event that they investigate and say that you didn’t answer accurately, just uphold your constitutional right to speak French, Etats-Unis, mais oui, voyons bien sur.
By the way, that’s exactly what Jesus would have done. Jesus always complied with the letter of the law of the Romans (or otherwise gave a smart-ass answer) without actually giving them what they wanted.
@Sandra Wagner
Not sure if Judea is still an option in the drop-down menu. Might have to go with the Vatican since they’ve signed an IGA.
@ Deckard1138
Thanks for making a post about this. Did you get any ideas at http://countmeout.ca/ ? We’re breathing a sigh of relief today because we found a short form on our doorstep. I was thinking if it had been a long form it would have stayed there for days … at least until Thursday when there’s rain predicted. Besides the tricky citizenship questions there’s another disturbing part of this — it’s possible that a US defense contractor (Lockheed Martin), bound by the Patriot Act, will now have the coordinates of the homes of everyone living in Canada. They make drones, don’t they?
Are you now starting to understand the reason for the second amendment to the US Constitution?
Holy Crap!
I’m trying to think back to the last census — I can’t remember having to state my name at all or the names of others living in my house. I’m approaching my 80th year and I honestly can’t remember. Somebody help me here? I’ve been a citizen since 1974 and a resident since ’64 — and this particular document has the bad smell of 1938 to this old Jewish boy from the Bronx.
Of course ten years ago, 20 years ago, 30 years ago and more, I still felt safe, secure and Canadian, and probably wouldn’t have minded proudly answering everything — but now… where to run to is my question, not whether to fill out census form.
Hieronymus
Oops, I meant Lockheed Martin, not Lougheed Martin. How’d a past Alberta premier get in there?
@EmBee
“They make drones, don’t they?” Gee, and I thought I was getting paranoid 😉
Yeah, I looked at that countmeout site. Interesting dude, who really should get to know us, and vice versa, because he seems to share a lot of the same concerns we do about America’s intrusion into highly sensitive federal responsibilities, such as collecting our census data. He would probably be astonished to learn just how much worse things are with FATCA, FBARs and CBT, and the CRA’s duplicity, and the true extent of Canada’s capitulation and loss of sovereignty to the US.
@Japan T
Or take the Fifth amendment (against self-incrimination) – use the US constitution on a Canadian form.
Sorry, I’m not serious about that one. I’m sticking with “EU”. I like it
@Sandra Wagner
I’m actually kind of partial to “The Free City of Braavos”.
The only fricking thing missing off the long form is to have everyone in the household give a dna sample… what will having this kind of specific info do… the only thing they didn’t ask for was all the people u may or may not have slept with… and if it was male or female or both… their names & current addresses
@Hieronymus
U aren’t the only jew who smells a big stink with this… as someone in my family said… this is starting to stink like it did in their old country before the round up…
DNA sample is collected in the sealing part of the enveloppe. They’re way ahead of you…
@ Sandra Wagner
I always hated licking envelopes (yucky taste) so years ago I started using a damp dish cloth instead. Now I’ll be thinking of it as preserving my DNA privacy, rather than saving my taste buds.
“Of course ten years ago, 20 years ago, 30 years ago and more, I still felt safe, secure and Canadian, and probably wouldn’t have minded proudly answering everything — but now… where to run to is my question, not whether to fill out census form.”
I bet that one hundred ten years ago your parents felt safe, secure, and German, and probably wouldn’t have minded proudly answering everything. When things changed, they ran to the Bronx. But that’s not a place to run to now.
“The only fricking thing missing off the long form is to have everyone in the household give a dna sample”
Baby Elle could help with that.
Or someone whose colostomy bag was “inspected” by TSA. She could help.
@Sandra Wagner
I do not lick envelopes… that is gross… u have no clue who may have touched it or what… I have an ocd issue… I won’t even eat the food off the plates of my kids after they are done… especially the one who lies about washing their hands when asked… lol
The net effect of all this CBT, FATCA, IGA, NSA spying, bank inquisitions, big data, etc,etc, is that at this point I don’t trust any government at any level anywhere anymore. They’ve got me scared to death to even enter that so-called secure access code into my computer. Is this all under penalty of perjury?
I think I’ll wait until the end of the week when I’m less tired (I just did my taxes, remember?) and then phone in on a pay phone (if I can find one) and request the mail-in version. Knowing Canada Post, I might get lucky and it will get lost forever, but for sure it will definitely arrive late. At that point I’ll manage to spill my coffee on it and have to request another one. Or maybe just mail it in, complete with stains and illegible address. Geeze, I just sent ’em a bunch of money for taxes. I’m worn out; what the hell do they expect from me, anyway?
@ Sandra Wagner
Americans are no longer protected by the fifth amendment, nor the 1st, 3rd, 4th, 6th and 8th amendments and probably others besides. Thus the purpose of the second.
@Maz57
“…what the hell do they expect from me, anyway?”
Compliance.
Judea was an homelander who had bank accounts in St Vincent and the Grenadines. Didn’t report any of the income to the IRS or anybody else (he lived in the US).
They preferred to crucify Jesus, who was an accidental American.
@Sandra Wagner
Not sure if Judea is still an option in the drop-down menu. Might have to go with the Vatican since they’ve signed an IGA.
I guess I only had to do the short census online. No questions about citizenship, place of birth, etc.
Even if you send it by mail it will be uploaded and stored on whatever server they use. Now the census forces parents to out their kids and kids to out themselves and their parents. This would all be no problem if the Government of Canada could be trusted. Depending on how many people lie about this, I guess the U.S. will now know how many “U.S. Persons” live in Canada. That makes me feel “real good”!!!!
If you fill it out and let them know where you were born/from, you will likely get a 100.00 fine per year for not having a foreign TIN or Social security number. This is the new Canadian law to punish you for being an immigrant. Lie on it as this is your only choice to protect yourself and family. Unfortunately, there are over 1 million Canadians at war with their own government. Mr Trudeau is a clear liar, without any doubts. I will do whatever I have to do to protect my family. This is human nature. I would gladly debate this with Mr. Trudeau live on camera. Might be interesting to take a public stand against filling out the Census based on the US intrusion and the fact that they will be using our data for whatever purposes they want. All while telling us we have privacy. Our politicians have clearly proven they are liars and will ALL continue to hide from this.
I got the short form, lucky this time I guess. If confronted with the long form, frankly, I would lie like hell. Its no ones business where I was born, has no relevance to anyone, and frankly is my business and only my business. If I ever got caught I would plead an addled mind, not to difficult at my age, now how do I post this tweet
A dutiful Canadian might fill it out truthfully – but when betrayed by his/her government, duty goes out the window. By its own admission, the Canadian government can’t be trusted to stand up to the extortionist and protect all Canadians. We know where their true allegiance is, and it ain’t us.
I don’t know what I’d do if I was not US tax-compliant and given the long-form to fill out. Either way, like Baby Elle, I would use what’s in my pants to seal the envelope.