This is an open thread to talk about how you cope with generalized anxiety. I’m one of those people who is anxious about everything all the time. But when business is good (like before 2008!) I keep myself busy so the anxiety has an outlet and I’m able to cope. These days business is slow as molasses and I obsess so much I think I’m going nuts.
Here’s what I’ve been doing but it doesn’t seem to work anymore:
– I take Ativan and Remeron every day. It helps but not as much as it used to.
– I play games on my Playbook at bedtime.
– I watch taped TV shows (I’m now having nightmares about things I see in the shows!)
– I often watch Fox News hoping all the people responsible for FATCA get voted out of office (yes I live in a fantasy world).
Some people drink to relax but that’s not an option for me, I’d turn it into an olympic sport.
Little things can help some people to cope with anxiety. What do you do that helps?
@Just Me,
re: “On what page was that link to David Jolly’s piece on the Oversight Board report?”
It’s on page 35, footnote 16. of ‘IRS Oversight Board Annual Report to Congress 2011’
“However, intense
criticism has been received from US citizens living abroad, who claim
that the regulations impose heavy compliance burdens on them.16″…
footnote 16 New York Times, For Americans Abroad, Taxes Just Got More Complicated,
April 16, 2012.
@Don Pomodoro,
Though things vary a bit from consulate to consulate and some are a little quirky, things definitely seem to go pretty smoothly. Check out the Consulate Report Directory … the adjectives “professional” and “pleasant” seem to crop up a lot. Dept of State seems to be a pretty reasonable bunch (they are their country’s diplomats, after all). Renunciation Guide has also found these meetings to be quite cut-and-dried and non-confrontational, too.
As well as Renunciation Guide,which you’ve probably checked out already, you might want to check out this Dept of State Manual 7 FAM 1260, which outlines the renunciation meeting procedure, if you haven’t yet.
The consul has a duty is to ensure that your decision is voluntary and intentional, not to talk you out of it. S/he will probably point out the benefits you are giving up, just to make sure that your intention is an informed one. (We, of course, know you’ve already weighed all that J)
You do not have to give a reason why you’ve chosen to renounce. But you might be asked (these interviews are sometimes rather conversational and I think sometimes it may simply be out of curiosity). Anyway, even though you don’t have to give a reason, I think things would tend to go more smoothly if you give an answer, so I would give a reason. As Rodgrod mentioned she said she wanted to simplify her life.
The consular staff are definitely not supposed to hassle people. I do a lot of research on these visits (in addition to compiling the ones reported on Brock) and I’m only aware of one case where someone got hassled (not at your consulate), and it got straightened out to the customer’s complete satisfaction very quickly. Which also leads me to believe that Dept of State is a quite reasonable department.
I can honestly say I enjoyed my meeting with the consul. And with your set of facts (accidental American), it’s really obvious that you would have little, if any, reason to want to be connected to theUS . It should go really well.
You also mentioned security. The heavy security at aUS consulate does look strange to us, but I found that the security guards were actually quite pleasant and friendly to interact with.
@badger
Thanks for that… I would have eventually found it, but that sure made it easier on me! 🙂
This is for Petros in particular and Everyone trying to cope with anxiety.
I would love to experiment with that “insert image” button by inserting a photo I took recently of our “neighbourhood therapy cat” but unfortunately that requires something like photo bucket and that’s another internet thing I don’t do. Anyway back to the cat. She always seems to appear when you need her most. Pet her she purrs. Sit down on the steps and she jumps up on your lap for a serious cuddle. But never try to call her over because she is always the one to decide if and when her services are needed. Her name is Phantom and I’ll do my best to describe her. She was born undecided for she is grey tabby on the top with a soft pure white undercarriage and she wears perfect white booties on all four of her paws. She has yellow eyes, frequently squinted either from the bliss of her own purr or in the intensity of tracking something moving in the underbrush. Her purr is barely audible but that’s a good thing because you must be very close to appreciate it. Her meow is muted too and her favourite indulgence is to roll luxuriously in the gravel. She leaves as quietly and as unexpectedly as she arrives and for that reason she seems to be aptly named. If I could wish anything for all of you right now it would be a visit from Phantom, our amazing “neighbourhood therapy cat”.
*ALL,Well it is 3 am and I am Brocking.. Another bad night..Very tired but no sleep!
@saddened, thinking of you.
@Em, cats (and companion animals) are very good therapy. And, we’ve got at least one official furry mascot (see the Petros avatar).
*@saddened,
The days we can get through with whatever diversions we make for ourselves. Our nights are too often claimed by the worry in our too active minds. And, sleep is so important for our strength to carry on in what seems like an endless process.
One day, though, it will end for each of us — we’re all working on it in our individual and, thanks to this site, collective means.
Thanks to one and all, including the professionals, for the generous support and expertise we get here.
*I did not find my way yet. To think that I will have to go through this year in and year out, having to file Income Tax to two countries, having two CPAs who don´t speak the other´s language and have different accounting systems, having to translate Reais into dollars according to the rate for the year, then having to compare the taxes paid in Brazil with the ones that would have been paid in the USA (and vice versa) sounds simply impossible. My God how did I get here?… And I did not even speak about having to pay taxes in the USA for income that is not taxed in Brazil…What is left?
@Markpinetree – what is left, what the IRS cannot touch, is our families, our friends, our cats, our dogs, being able to laugh at the silliness of life, walking in the woods or on the beaches, a hearty merlot with a meal, a perfectly made dry martini. These are the things that make life truly worth living. I remind myself every day that what we’re dealing with is not all there is. Keep your chin up and try to take time away from this crap to enjoy the beautiful things that come your way. Because they do, we just have to make sure we’re not obsessing too much to be able to appreciate them.
*outragedcanadian Many, many thanks. Would you believe that I am beginning to see the light that you have pointed to me? The word “obssessing” is the proper word. As we say: !Que sera, sera!…”. Just returning from a trip where I enjoyed my daughters and their husbands, son and gorl friend and my eight months old granddaughter! Life goes on. I am glad I did. Life goes on with or without the IRS.
@ outragedcanadian RE: your latest entry at http://blog.outragedcanadian.ca/
What an excellent summary you put together. It helps to have it all listed like that so you can try to untangle in your head how you went from simply living your life to living in dread. The next step is formulating a strategy to bring yourself back to living a normal life again. Please, please may I borrow bits and pieces as needed?
@Em, most certainly! We are all in this together. Writing things down has always helped me to clarify things in my mind. And it needs it a lot lately!
@Markpinetree. Good for you! I’m glad you’re starting to be able to see the good things in life again. I’m sure your family and especially your granddaughter enjoyed having your full attention. Isn’t it funny how babies have a way of making one realize how trivial some of the things we worry about really is! They’re so in the now, that it’s hard not to join them!
Thanks for pointing me to outragedcanadian’s blog, Em. I haven’t checked in there for awhile. A lot of good information there for sure.
@outraged,
You’ve broken so much down into ‘layman’s’ terms. Excellent analysis of how this affects you (and so many of us).
@Outragedcanadian
Thanks so much for the info on your blog. I was thinking last night, I really need to jot some things down, put things in order. My brain feels so ‘jumbled’ with all of this and at my age ‘jumbled’ is really not a good thing.
Well, you did it for me. Have printed it now and next time that I am feeling particularly ‘jumbled’ I will have a read of “What I’ve Learned”. Good job!!
Oops, I thought I posted a reply a bit earlier, but maybe I didn’t save it. I’m glad someone else found something worthwhile in my struggle to understand all of this. Things become more clear to me when I write them down for some reason. Maybe it’s having to put some order into it.
Here is an article that can help with our audit anxiety:
http://blog.sfgate.com/dgreenberg/2012/06/11/how-the-irs-selects-returns-for-audit/
Interesting how some businesses take a long time to update to new technologies. Usually, we see that in the industry, but I guess it can apply to anything that is high risk to change.
@Christophe,
Re helping our audit anxiety. Wow, just wow!
I wasn’t sure where to put this comment, and figure this thread is as good as any. Recently, my teen aged daughters have expressed a desire to have a family trip to New York. They know about FATCA and CBT, and think I am ‘paranoid’, about not wanting to go to the USA. So does my husband. Actually it is a lot more than paranoia from my perspective – it is more about principles, which I tried to explain.
When I had my OMG moment last November, mu husband got very angry with me for being upset and thought I was worried for nothing because, I am ‘different’ from all the others (I assume he thought everyone else owed USA somehow, but not me because I left as a baby- yeah like USA differentiates somehow).
Tonight, the New York trip came up again. This triggered a big argument between myself and my husband, in front of our 3 daughters. He thinks I exaggerate the risks and personal reasons for not wanting to go, and am being selfish denying the ‘family’. I said, fine, you can all go without me, but I am hurt you would consider it and are giving me such a hard time for standing my ground on not wanting to go.
We have a limited budget, and do next to no travelling, other than day trips here and there, so a trip to New York would be a big thing. Two daughters agreed with my husband- mom is selfish. One, the youngest, remained silent.
I am just so done with this crap. Even my own family, seems to have zero empathy for my situation. Maybe they are right. Maybe I am making a big deal about nothing.
@ WhiteKat
It’s a puzzle to me where the empathy in this world has gone. It seems I grew up with the words “How would you feel if that were you?” ringing in my ears. And yet I don’t remember if my parents ever actually said that to me. The message simply became embedded in my brain. I just watched a stirring anti-war address by Dr. Dahlia Wasfi which was accented by brutal pictures of a war torn Iraq. The images were so horrid I could barely endure them and I have to admit I had to close my eyes frequently because, not in full but certainly in part, I know how they feel. I wish so much that your family could really understand your anxiety and ask themselves “How would I feel if I were Mom?” At least you know that Brockers understand, although maybe more in a misery loves company kind of way. We know how you feel because we are experiencing many of the same things ourselves. You are taking a strong stand and it’s rather sad that anyone would interpret that as being selfish.