This is an open thread to talk about how you cope with generalized anxiety. I’m one of those people who is anxious about everything all the time. But when business is good (like before 2008!) I keep myself busy so the anxiety has an outlet and I’m able to cope. These days business is slow as molasses and I obsess so much I think I’m going nuts.
Here’s what I’ve been doing but it doesn’t seem to work anymore:
– I take Ativan and Remeron every day. It helps but not as much as it used to.
– I play games on my Playbook at bedtime.
– I watch taped TV shows (I’m now having nightmares about things I see in the shows!)
– I often watch Fox News hoping all the people responsible for FATCA get voted out of office (yes I live in a fantasy world).
Some people drink to relax but that’s not an option for me, I’d turn it into an olympic sport.
Little things can help some people to cope with anxiety. What do you do that helps?
I also just wanted to say that I’ve concluded that life is not always fair but I can’t bitterness destroy me. It’s been a major shock and setback but it’s also forced me to lower my expectations which could ironically enable me to learn to be more easily content with my lot. I’m becoming less money-driven simply because I now realise that early retirement will no longer be possible but can learn to enjoy living day-to-day instead of being so myopically focussed on financial goals. Perhaps a bit of cynicism is thus a healthy thing.
Cecelia – my doctor has recommended mindfulness based stress reduction. Are you in Toronto, by any chance? Is there a place you recommend?
@TooMuchCoffee: I took the course in Calgary. Website for that course was http://www.practicalwellbeing.ca Maybe you could e-mail there and ask for a Toronto recommendation There are also free “downloads” on that website. The course started in the 90s. Based on the book Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain and Illness, by Jon Kabat-Zinn. Definitely worth buying the book. It explains it all in the book.
Anxiety is a family trait, from my mother’s side, and she has had a hard time coping with it all her life, in spite of her very religious life style and many prayers for deliverance from worry and anxiety. After 85 years, I do see that prayer doesn’t seem to work! 🙂
Fortunately for me, anxiety is an annoyance, but not debilitating, and when I see my mother get all anxious or worried over nothing it is frustrating that she hasn’t learned any coping mechanisms for all those years of hers. Maybe when you believe that God is supposed to take these burdens away, you don’t put enough effort into self help. Don’t know how else to explain it.
Strangely, knowing that anxiety is a genetic trait helps me deal the occasional surges of it that I might get. I am good at rationalization and distraction when I feel it coming on. I just figure that the DNA is switching on some hormones and making mischief, and this too will pass, just like a head ache.
For self help, I find something of interest to distract me until the anxiety subsides. Exercise helps, but generally too boring unless I have mental stimulation like my MP3. I usually prefer some “man cave” activity in the garage, or working on the house, with my MP3 player engaged, listening to NPR or PRI podcasts that interest me, like Planet Money, Radio Lab, To the Point, FreshAir, Market Place, Wait Wait don’t tell me, Car Talk, This American Life, Wire Tap, etc. I prefer intellectually stimulating talk or entertainment to music, but I suppose music would work, it is just that I just rarely bother. When I get immersed in a good story or discussion, the anxiety disappears, and once gone it stays away for quite a while.
BTW, Brocking around the clock is a good distraction for me, and it doesn’t create extra anxiety, but then, I paid dearly to end my OVDP anxiety, so don’t face some of the same situations that others do. I do empathize with you. Wished you guys had been around when I was going through that! Seems a distant misery now. To have some where to write about it, and possibly help others with the struggle has been a good post OVDP release for me, so appreciate that you all created this blog.
I had a breakdown similar to Monalisa’s when I found out about all this. I, too, lost about 20 lbs from not being able to eat. Unfortunately, I’ve gained about 30 lbs since I started taking Effexor. 🙁 The upside is that the Effexor worked wonders and I am no longer anxious about all this (just angry). I also take a spinning class at the gym 2-3 times a week, geocache, and play World of Warcraft, and work a lot. Keeps my mind off the IRS and eating. 🙂
My first post here. I’ve lurked for some while and decided it’s time to begin contributing.
A variety of things.
– I pat, stroke and enjoy my wonderful dogs.
– I listen to music – classical (Beethoven’s 9th for example); jazz/swing (Benny Goodman Live at Carnegie Hall); George Winston’s solo piano. Sometimes some old-time rock and roll is what dorks best.
– I sit outside with my wife and listen to the grass grow, so to speak.
– I try to remain amused by the folly and humour of life, living, and the human condition. Sometimes I succeed at this one.
– I remember that, for me, the ‘before’ – the anxiety, anticipation, dread, even fear, and so on that I experience before an event – is almost always worse than the ‘during.’
*
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@extex
Welcome aboard. Glad you have came out from behind the “lurking cloud” and joined us. The more the merrier, as we gain from each others perspectives and experiences.
Your comment “even fear, and so on that I experience before an event – is almost always worse than the ‘during” really rings true for me.
When I was making passages across the Pacific back in the early 90’s in our small sailboat, the anxiety of the approaching storm was always worse than the actual storm when it did arrive. The worry about what “could” happen (as described by Radio Australia hi-seas wx reports) was always worse than what “did” happen. Actually, in the storm, there was often exhilaration, which made me wonder what was I so fearful of, just a few hours earlier before the storm front arrived.
@ Just Me, thank you very much. It’s good to stop lurking and start contributing. The anxiety of the ‘before’ was once again more stressful than the ‘now.’
Between working full time at a job I really like (irony of ironies – it’s almost within spitting distance of the border) and do not want to endanger it by visiting any “Controversial” sites as well as enjoying a lovely spring, I may not contribute much or contribute often.
I will be around though to continue learning and to try to contribute in a small way to this wonderful community. It was so very good to find out that many people feel similarly. I was outraged, angry, anxious, in ostrich. That phase is pretty well done.
Am drafting an introduction which I expect to share in a few days.
Thanks for all these answers. I am taking all the advice I could here, as I am not managing anxity very well. I still have an occasional anxiety attack at night and often feel nauseous.
I cope with it by just working a lot. What would help me is if I could do something to end it before the end of the statute of limitation, but it’s incompatible with the solution I picked to just disclose forward.
Reading articles like this one that I found today also makes me feel better:
http://blogs.wsj.com/washwire/2012/06/05/report-irs-faces-serious-problems-ahead/
*@Christophe, Yes I felt better when I read this article also..Don’t worry we will get through this. We maybe alittle rough around the edges, beat up and bruised but we will make it..and hopefully alot stronger.
*@Blaze, Can you believe I made that comment!! Worry Wart talking positive!! I must be in shock. There maybe hope for me after all..
@Christophe
Thanks for that link, as it will give me an opportunity tonight to post a comment. The level of comments aren’t that great on the blog, with a lot of partisan mud slinging, but will put something up for the fun of it. Thanks again.
@Christophe…
Well after 3 trys, I got a comment to stick at the WSJ. I had to take out the links, so eliminated the Http// and just left the bitty portion, which will work if anyone is interested. I was trying to generate some interest to bring folks into our conversation. You never know who you might hook! 🙂 Mine was comment 39!
BTW, I did like this quote in the story…which tells me that Journalist are starting to understand the issue and bring it out in their reporting.
Americans living overseas are also unhappy with the IRS as it tries to implement the 2010 Foreign Account Tax Compliance Act, or Fatca.
“Criticism has been received from U.S. citizens living abroad who claim that the regulations impose heavy compliance burdens on them,” the report said. “The challenge facing the IRS will be to use meaningful measures to evaluate its use of the additional information, and assess whether the benefits received from the program outweigh the costs.”
Good tips all…I’m particularly anxious at the moment as I have my first renunciation appointment this week and I just walked past the US embassy to see what it looked like and was very intimidated by all of the armed military police and the huge gate on the outside. I was trying to figure out you actually enter and I think that you need to be escorted in by the MP, which is terrifying for someone used to walking into my other country’s embassy with no security check whatsoever and no armed guards all over the place. I am also not allowed to bring any electronic devices in and it looks like entering the building will be like going through airport security. After that, I’m not particularly looking forward to a grinding during my interview, during which time I imagine that they will try to dissuade me and point out that the Eurozone could collapse in the next few months. I’m not an economist so I won’t really know what to say…I hate that I can’t just tell them honestly that I want big brother out of my life and the ability to retain my bank accounts, but am worried that if I mention anything tax related that I could be banned from travel to the US in the future. On a private level this is a non-issue to me as I wouldn’t go back as a tourist, but if I ever get a job that requires travel there I could be in for a huge mess. Not sure if typing all of the above made me less or more anxious 😛
@DonPomodoro: When I renounced (in Copenhagen) the Consul explained to me that it was not his job to try and talk me out of it but to ensure that I wasn’t under any “coercion” and that I understood the consequences. I had sent them a statement ahead of time explaining my reasons for renouncing and the Consul said that he had read that and he could see that I had thought it through and that my mind was made up. If they try and dissuade you then I would recommend that you, politely, inform them that you’ve been thinking about this for years (or however long you want to tell them) and that you’ve been over all the pros and cons, and now you just want to go through with it. The reasons I gave for renouncing were that I wanted to simplify my life with as little bureaucracy as possible. They couldn’t argue with that. 🙂
@Don Pomodoro
most consular reports indicate that the staff are professional and not overtly judgemental
they are simply doing their job.
@christophe, thanks for the link http://blogs.wsj.com/washwire/2012/06/05/report-irs-faces-serious-problems-ahead/ to that WSJ article ‘IRS Faces Serious Problems Ahead’ by Siobhan Hughes
see this excerpt:
….”IRS Oversight Board said. Americans living overseas are also unhappy with the IRS as it tries to implement the 2010 Foreign Account Tax Compliance Act, or Fatca.
“Criticism has been received from U.S. citizens living abroad who claim (my emphasis) that the regulations impose heavy compliance burdens on them,” the report said. “The challenge facing the IRS will be to use meaningful measures to evaluate its use of the additional information, and assess whether the benefits received from the program outweigh the costs.””…
The article has a link which leads to the full report – worth reading, since although most is discussion of ‘domestic’ ‘homeland’ issues only and ignores the perspective and major problems for those ‘abroad’, (the IRS Oversight Board report authors use the wording ‘claims’ – to cast doubt on our complaints about FATCA, etc.) but there is a reference to the very good NYTimes article by David Jolly as supporting evidence http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/16/business/global/for-americans-abroad-taxes-just-got-more-complicated.html?pagewanted=all
There is also this from the IRS Oversight report:
Sorry @all, I’m having problems mastering the formatting options!
@ Don Pomodoro
I understand your anxiety about the security and the interview but think of it like a dentist appointment. You’re going because you have a terrible pain and this is the only way you are going to get relief. They will probably grill you and try to dissuade you but in your head and heart you know that when it’s all over you will be pain free.
I also understand your anxiety about perhaps accidentally blurting out your real reason for renouncing during the grilling. (At least I think that might be what is bothering you.) This is the normal condition of people who are honest. It is difficult to be someone you are not and have to be less than honest for fear of some as yet unknown consequences. BUT I’m sure you can think of many examples when the USA has outright lied to you and everyone else in the world in order to advance it toward whatever grizzly goal it has. So hang in there and tell yourself you can do this because your goal of freedom is admirable and it is within your grasp. May your anxious anticipations far exceed the actual experience and GOOD LUCK.
@Don
I sympathize with your feelings of anxiety. However, as Em so eloquently said above, know you are doing the correct thing and try to focus on how good you will feel when it is all over. Best of luck and please let all of us know how everything goes at the consulate.
@badger
On what page was that link to David Jolly’s piece on the Oversight Board report? I have been scanning the 82 pages, and can not find it. thnx
@Don,
Actually, root canals are almost painless these days, except for that first shot! I think you will look back, and say, “What was I worried about?” It will be mostly painless! Just looks intimidating, and remember intimidation is part of the strategy of the US government these days. Behind the veil is just a feeble old man, remember Dorothy!
*My anxiety would be relieved as I can remove my savings from USA. THere are a number of challenges which will take time:
Exporting money can only be done into one’s own account. If one exports more than $10,000 to what is determined to be your own account, then it could be identified as passing the FATCA barrier.
Exporting money at intervals less than $10,000 is labeled by FinCen or IRS as illegal “structuring” and the transfers could be confiscated. (Getting it from both ends).
Exporting funds in IRA’s before 59.5 yrs of age incurs a 10% penalty, which is a high price to pay for guarding and insuring against confiscation. So I will be exposed for a number of years til reaching that age.
And then of course the worry of reporting it all and praying or not reporting it all and taking those consequences.
May 15 was the bright side, when many of the responses proved that the FFI end of things is an empty threat to our personal situations—discovery in that method seems quite unlikely if you don’t have any UBS or HSBC account.
*Or, in a shorter description:, action with an end would eliminate my personal stress. In this case, the action will take about a year to get my savings out—–and then I will have to live with a percentage of my assets exposed in retirement accounts. In my case, I have to resign myself that I can’t move back to USA with that strategy—I must remain OUT. Again with further (difficult) action, I may be able to solve that if I succeed to acquire an offshore oil rig job and VISIT USA regularly.
Repeating a comment for visibility as it doesn’t rise to the level of a stand alone Post.
Christrophe first drew my attention to this blog last night. I have encouraged a few at ACA to make comments, and now I am making a call for Brocker comments on the recent WSJ blog called IRS Could Face ‘Serious Problems
This another good opportunity to highlight how the IRS wastes resources in pursuit of the wrong mission. You should see some familiar names, but I will call out one from an ACA director.