My father once left for Far Away Country and returned to Homeland empty-handed and starving. Since he had squandered his part of grandfather’s fortune on prostitutes and riotous living, he feared that the villagers of Homeland would not accept him. He was grateful however that grandfather received him back warmly, saying, “For this my son was dead, and is alive again. He was lost and is found.” But my uncle, whose name is Sam, seethed.
When I turned eighteen, my father sent me on business to Far Away Country where he still had friends who had now become his business partners. I met the daughter of one of the partners; she was fair and so we wed. I worked for my father-in-law, and we wisely saved our money. I became a citizen of Far Away Country. After many years, we had two sons and two daughters, a house with no mortgage, and investment and retirement accounts. One day, I said, “I shall return to Homeland to see my aged father and to greet the villagers.”
While I was still at a distance, Uncle Sam saw me and was not amused. Uncle Sam was the mayor of Homeland. He had squandered its wealth, and it now had an official debt of sixteen trillion shekels, owing many shekels to foreign countries, even to Far Away Country. Uncle Sam had divided the villagers between the producers and the beneficiaries. The producers paid taxes and the beneficiaries voted for Uncle Sam. Soon however the Homeland’s debt exceeded its entire GDP, and so Uncle Sam was desperate to find new taxes to prolong his prodigal budget deficit. For he had also promised the villagers another eighty-four trillion shekels in entitlements that he could not pay, and he feared that the villagers would rise up against him when they stopped receiving their benefits.
So Uncle Sam sent armed thugs with hollow-point bullets to meet me on the path. They informed me, as they took me into custody, “Your Uncle Sam is not amused. All these years that you lived in Far Away Country and never once did you think of the village. You didn’t pay your taxes. You must now pay your taxes for many years going back, and FBAR fines of 383%. We will hold you in prison until you pay every last farthing. What is more, we have heard nothing from your two sons and two daughters. They must also pay their taxes and FBAR fines. If they ever return to Homeland, they can expect this same greeting.”
Then, the armed thugs with hollow-point bullets brought me into the presence of Uncle Sam. Standing as judge over me in the presence of all the villagers, Uncle Sam proclaimed, “I am not amused. This nephew of mine is a tax evader traitor. He left Homeland to avoid paying his fair share. He has failed to file his taxes and his FBARs. He must pay all back taxes and an FBAR fine of 383% of all his wealth. We will hold him in prison until he pays every last farthing. What is more, we have heard nothing from his two sons and two daughters who are the children of this village. They must also pay their taxes and FBAR fines. If they ever return to Homeland, they can expect this same greeting.”
The villagers of Homeland jeered at me and cried out, “Away with the selfish and greedy expat who dared to leave the Homeland!”
*@Petros, amen, Amen and AMEN!
haha, very good!
Indeed. Thanks, Petros!
Others to follow won’t be so fortunate to marry those outside of the homeland, as the fathers of these potential brides will forbid their daughters from bringing this scourge upon their families.
“Uncle Sam was desperate to find new taxes to prolong his prodigal budget deficit.”
Uncle Sam wasn’t after you for your taxes. We all know this expat tax jihad is going to cost more directly than what Sam collects, and we aren’t even talking about the indirect costs. Sam, who currently works for that Black Muslim Barry Hussien Obama, wanted to punish you to maintain “tax morale” in the homeland and to appeal to his reparations seeking base who want to punish you for your white flight. What base you might ask? Why his Obama phone base who will vote for him for the free phone and to see you dragged down to their level.
Uncle Sam has become just another dirty old tyrant!
If America’s founders were alive today, they would surely leave the US in search of freedom abroad. They would then proudly renounce their US citizenships just like they renounced their British citizenships in 1776.
The Berlin Wall of obstacles to freedom such as FATCA, FuBAR, Exit Tax, Reed Amendment etc wouldn’t be able to stop them from breaking the chains thrown upon them by the likes of Levin, Rangel, Grassley, Schumer, Obama, Geithner etc, etc.
American ex-pats are today’s pilgrims and pioneers. They are the true patriots of liberty.
Freedom is “idea whose time has come.” Ex-pats get it. Dirty old tyrants like Schumer and Levin don’t–and they never will.
Petros – Good one. I notice that Uncool Sham is out for shekels and farthings! Any pittance extorted from any quailing grandma. A version of the numbers racket: everybody possible is deemed a US person, and then the threats begin to suck in the protection money.
Nice, Petros! Parables are such a good way to convey information. The Richest Man in Babylon parable was what taught me personal finance when I was young.
Aside from y’all not being willing to help pay for Obama-phones for the suffering poor, here is another reason why the Obama-Sam and the Democratic party want to keep your wealth in the homeland:
By taking your wealth offshore you are taking it out of the hands of the trial lawyers who are so important to the Democratic party. You won’t find any support for repeal of FATCA there.
*This bunch of nitwits are worse than King George, but what we should do is gather every one of those who signed onto this farcical scheme, into one spot and deport the lot to Russia or imprison them for treason. We should not have to leave this country of our birth to find justice.
THROW THE BUMS OUT.
If a tax amnesty is good enough for Kentucy, why not expats?
Pingback: The Isaac Brock Society - The Wolf and the Lamb revised for our times
We might hope that Uncle Sam would die of heartlessness. But alas, he is a vampire, sucking the lifeblood of innocents, and is therefore ageless.