A good friend of mine, a Canadian citizen who has lived in Canada for 40 years, recently shared some of her thoughts with me regarding what she describes as a sort of cognitive dissonance in terms of her changing feelings towards the country she was born in, grew up in, and is still a citizen of – the USA. The following is narrated from some emails she sent me, and for which she gave permission to share with the Brock community. She says:
I needed a break from all this FATCA craziness, so went to a show called “Rock ‘n Roll Legends”, at a local theater with my neighbours. Although the theater is small, it is a class act and people come from all over to watch the shows. I expected to have trouble staying in my seat and figured I would want to dance up and down the aisles. And it was just fabulous! They did this retrospective of showing US news on the screen while performing the music that was current at the time from the 60′ and 70’s. The cast was amazing. They had the music just absolutely perfectly dead on, all could sing unbelievably well, mimicking the original artists perfectly, and each played multiple instruments.
It was unreal. But the most unpredictable thing happened to me. Instead of wanting to dance in the aisles, I ended up sobbing. You didn’t grow up in the USA, and are much younger than me. I lived through Viet Nam and lost classmates. I lived through the atrocities committed, and yet I loved my country – not the government but the nation. I loved my classmates that died in Nam, understood that: only the poor kids were sent to fight and were not honoured upon their return; the politicians’ kids didn’t go; and the country didn’t care about the expendable poor kids but just used them for political fodder.
In a strange way that whole era, combined in my head at the same time with this FATCA mess we are currently in, and I had this soul wrenching, demoralizing sense of utter betrayal and complete understanding of what a fool I have been for so many years. I just sobbed. They showed pictures from Viet Nam – the young soldiers, the devastation – all to the backdrop of “He ain’t heavy he’s my brother”. It just killed me.
To actually have believed that the country was good, but to now understand that the government has always been and always will be just simply cruel, makes me ashamed to have this red, white and blue tattoo, just simply ashamed. Yet it is who I am. At a gut level I think I actually see myself as an American living in Canada. But now I am left with this empty, groundless, terrifying feeling. I cannot shed this ‘American thing’ that is me, nor am I really Canadian (aside from living here for 40 years and having a Canadian passport).
In the grand scale of life does it really matter? We are all citizens of this planet. Maybe having what one calls a ‘national identity’ is just simply foolish, and an ego thing. Intellectually, I believe this but in my gut I am simply sick, sad and very, very unhappy. It is a sense of being adrift, beyond lonely, of not having one drop of solid ground under my feet, having no identity, and of being terrified of and hurt by my once beloved country.
Am I making one drop of sense? I really can’t describe the source of my tears nor the pain in my tummy. Betrayal? Fear? Being adrift? Am I overreacting? Maybe being involved with this fight day in and day out is causing me to flip out. But it is real, and not dealing with it, not fighting back will do nothing to make it go away. I have to stay involved. Taking a break will just cause me more anxiety.
Well, so much for it being a fun night. I now feel hung over and exhausted, and I didn’t drink a thing! My head is stuck in a depressive bubble.
Why did’t I rid myself of US citizenship a long time ago? Because US citizenship wasn’t a problem for many of us until recently. Would anyone ask that of someone born in the Britain? It hasn’t always been the nicest of nations either, but no one’s suggesting any of its emigrants should renounce citizenship. I didn’t leave for political reasons, as I was 12 at the time. It may or may not be at my own peril, but I’m holding on to US citizenship as a matter of principle at the moment. A lot depends on SFC’s response to the international submissions and whether the US’s hatred for its expats is intentional.
@NativeCanadian
You often hear other nation’s people say that it’s not the American people that they don’t like, but the US government. I believe that Americans are accountable for the government they elect. It sounds as though you’ve met at least one person who took personal responsibility for the US government’s actions. Congratulations.
@all
In a conversation my husband recently had with our lawyer, our lawyer said that Canada is now getting special treatment by the US government, and even used the term “most favoured nation”. Intriguing. Can anyone guess what this might mean?
Most favoured nation? Removal of the border? Amalgamation?
Most favoured nation for takeover. Didn’t think of it that way, but I suppose you are right Calgary411.
@Dash & Jan. You two got it right, in my mind , and probably for most who arrived in a new country as adults, the option (or original plan) to go back “home” was a given. Then life happened….you forge a career,raise a couple of kids and poof! you’re a senior citizen who couldn’t afford US health insurance if you could even get it…forget Medicare. Plus, you happen to love your new country AND your old one too. I don’t whitewash America’s faults, but I can’t just say my family’s history in America (350 years) was an ill-conceived journey that needs to be shed like an old snakeskin. The shots taken here recently against the US are fine, and if they make you feel good, keep them coming…but in most cases stupid American behaviour came via stupid governments, like the present one. I see America as something far bigger than government, and I miss her but I can’t afford to move back for fear of some IRS agent asking “where the hell have you been for 37 years? and where are your FBAR forms?” I’m trapped in a beautiful place called Canada…my home…but still trapped.
@Bubblebustin who at IBS will run a 4th of July special?
I suggest renaming it Old America Day the day we may celebrate what America once stood for. Use the flag with the 13 stars in circle and picture of the lighting of The Liberty Tree.
How about posing the question to IBS what we might do for July 4th.
Great idea, but burning effigies are more to my liking, JC.
@Bubblebustin
I imagine that means that Canada gets the most “deals” within FATCA.
@JC re: “How about posing the question to IBS what we might do for July 4th. ”
I think it would be much more fitting, as Canadians living in Canada (dominant nationality being Canadian and all that), to consider ‘what we might do for July 1st’.
I agree, WhiteKat.
@Bubblebustin — “most favoured nation” status is a technical term in international trade. I find it hard to believe it’s a recent phenomenon between the U.S. and Canada.
WTO definition of “most favoured nation” status. https://www.wto.org/english/thewto_e/whatis_e/tif_e/fact2_e.htm
To the extent they even believe that anyone undeserving is hurt by the enforcement of CBT or anyone’s privacy rights are trampled on by FATCA, we are at best collateral damage to the U.S. politicians who dream of collecting billions in tax revenue from fat cats (other than the ones who helped put them in office). For U.S. presidents inflicting collateral damage is part of the job it seems.
I will always be an American based on my heritage. They can’t take that away from me. It just turns out all the the State Department advisories and stern lectures from border guards over the years were right — it can be very complicated to be a dual citizen. I just made a different decision when I came up against that hard reality than they thought I would. I’m optimistic I will still be able to visit family and friends as any other Canadian may, but if not we will have to meet on my side of the border.
A parting gift from the IRS, is the warm fuzzy feeling I get whenever I open up my Canadian assessment notice and read “Thank you for filing this tax return”.
@Bubblebustin What effigies do you have in mind to burn? This could be fun. I hear that with The Liberty Tree effigies were burned.
Are you an IBS Author, who may pose question of what to do for 4th of July?
JC, Stay Calm and Canada…
Forget burning US effigies on July 4th…WE LIVE IN CANADA….geeeezzzz…maybe you need to take a vacation or something.
@WhiteKat I am more interested in a discussion of what we might do special for July 4th, and @Bubblebusting has this interesting idea. What we might do July 1st would be good to add too.
It might have publicity value if we rename 4th of July ‘Old America Day” celebrating what America once was.
Last 4th of July Blaze hosted a luncheon, invited a TV crew and rewrote the Declaration of Independence. Her version is brilliant:
http://maplesandbox.ca/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Declaration-of-Independence-of-the-Maple-Brock-Sovereignty-Alliance_no-acdc.pdf
Maybe for July 1st we can rewrite the Canadian/US IGA and submit it to Mr. Harper!
@JC, Cool…then do it on another post. This one is not about that.
@JC re: ” What we might do July 1st would be good to add too.”
What you are not getting here is that if we want fellow Canadians (without US taint) to think of us as Canadian, and support us in our fight to retain ALL CANADIANS’ rights and freedoms – including our attempts to strike down the FATCA IGA in Canada – then we have got to stop acting like hurt Americans. We are Canadian first and foremost – thinking about what to do on July 1st should NOT be an after thought to July 4th. Give your head a shake.
@WhiteKat The post is about someone who loved America, before reality bites. Therefore, for such a person it may be about loving the America they once knew. For such a person renaming July 4th to “Old America Day” may be appropriate.
OK JC. I get emotion. That is what this post is about – the realization that what one thought and felt was not based in reality – for those who LOVED the USA (I happen not to be one, but that is irrelevant). If you really have a hate on for the USA, and want to burn effigies on July 4th, then have someone make a new post about it and discuss it there. Seriously though, I think that attitude takes away from what we should really be focusing on as Canadians living in Canada – i.e. our traitorous Canadian government and the threat to Canadian rights and freedoms. Otherwise we start to look like, well…”Americans living in Canada” – exactly as our own government describes us.
@WhiteKat Excellent point – doubleplus bad to look like Americans in Canada, the depiction of the Canadian government. I say it would be good to have the discussion. Also what maybe to do different on 1 July, if anything. Burning of effigies seems definitely anti-American. Just no flag burning as it might incite the homelanders. Petros had a good post here on the burning of the White House in the War of 1812, which I felt was a bit radical.
@JC re: ” doubleplus bad to look like Americans in Canada”
EXACTLY! JC, repeat after me, “I am Canadian. I live in Canada. The US is a foreign country.” 🙂
@WhiteKat Actually I live in Australia, but I get the idea.
I do identify with the US – Love the country I used to know. Yet I consider the US government a communist government in regards to US persons living overseas. Pow! Zap!
Thank you, RLee for the links to explanations of what a most favoured nation status means. I had previous knowledge of what it meant within the context of FATCA, in that should all things be equal, all FATCA IGA partners should get as “good” a deal as the other, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that it should be Canada. This notion is something different. Could the US be looking to Canada as a Petrie dish of sorts for its tax policies affecting non-residents since there are so many of us here and in such close proximity to the US? If you recall, the Senate Finance Committee did look to Canada in its first go-round as a model for tax reform as it applies to non-residents.
@JC, I have a different effigy for each day it seems…but on further thought I too don’t wish to encourage a certain attitude that we are Americans abiding in Canada either, and the perception that I might be any less loyal to Canada than say someone from the Ukraine.
An interesting review of Ronald Wright’s “What is America”. One critic stated: “I knew I was going to be profoundly depressed … depressed for humanity.”
http://massline.org/ScienceGrp/WhatIsAmerica.htm