The President declared: “Gross Taxable Product (GTP) shall replace GDP as the statistical measure of the U.S. economy” at 12:01 a.m. EDT today, April 1, 2016. “During 1991, the Republicans lowered the statistical value of the United States Economy by switching from the GNP measurement to the less-favorable GDP measurement. At no other time in history had any government official lowered the measurement of the perceived U.S. economy so drastically and made the government look so bad. The action I am taking today will more than recover from those damaging policies of the past, and make the U.S. economy to appear as taking an immediate $3 trillion jump in perceived performance”.
Most pundits responded quickly and positively to the move. MSNBC has been reporting that the announcement reverses the criticisms the President once received after having said that the United States is not exceptional. “No other country in the world measures their economy this way. Measuring the economy by the performance of its taxed individuals is something that no other country has ever done before. This is truly an exceptional announcement–contrary to what critics have been saying for so long”.
Fox News pundits immediately cast a less-than-positive light upon the announcement. “This is not the type of decision that should be made by a lame-duck president. This decision should have been put off until someone is in office who is much better at spending Americans’ money.”
Continued here in today’s special edition of The Rag
So Mr. Obama
By raising taxes, you make the economy look better while people have less money in their pockets to spend, thus, damaging the economy ??? Where did you go to school and what were your grades ?
Flabergasting !
No wonder a major economic collapse is on the move…
The Goldbugs will love this action. They’ve always accused Obama of manipulating unemployment figures so this just carries on the same theme.
It’s a bit like when you add in drug dealers and hookers into economic figures to improve the picture.
Well, with all of the crazy news from around the world today, I am not surprised! First Stanford University announces that it has decided to take no applicants this year to ensure that it is the most selective university in the world, then the London Eye ferris wheel announces that it is converting its two uppermost pods into luxury studio apartments, and even the normally sane Germans have announced that their chickens will being laying eggs shaped like rugby balls to encourage the success of the sport in that country. Even our good buddy Rand Paul has started tweeting that he is going to make YUGE announcements that will be the most winning ones, like he has been taken over by the Donald. I hope things return to normal tomorrow, the 2nd of April, although the U.S. thinking that it has the right to tax all the world’s income isn’t so far fetched (I believe that that Dick Harvey even said as much once).
Publius nails it. A pretty nasty April Fool’s prank to pull on US tainted tax slaves.
April Fool ? Or is Obama the April Fool ?
I get that this measure would take in the portion of other countries’ GDP that the US decides to tax when attacking their tax slaves living off the plantation.
@nervousinvestor
Well, I googled it before suggesting the April Fool’s angle, since I wasn’t entirely sure. I didn’t want to wreck this entirely credible spoof of U.S. tax policy. Obama does seem to think that money grows on the spaghetti trees of Switzerland sometimes.
LOL!
Enjoyed this!