With the dearth of seriousness that pervades most of the topics we slog through, day after day. it seems a little fun is in order, especially when something unusual has been created! This post grows out of a comment being posted as a post and again, as a comment becoming a post.
Would see an abolute shame to see this gem of Embee’s get buried away; without the post it refers to, it wouldn’t make sense.
So here it all is, in complete form.
FORM PEOPLE
to the tune of “Goldfinger”
Form People
They’re the ones
The ones with a vampire’s bite
A scary sight
Such a cold people
Beckon you to enter their world of fines
You must decline
Bafflegab they will pour in your ear
But their words can’t disguise what you fear
For the clever ones know how bad this ends
It’s the kiss of death to befriend
Form People
Clever ones, beware of their deeds untold
Their hearts are cold
Bafflegab they will pour in your ear
But their words can’t disguise what you fear
For the clever ones know how bad this ends
It’s the kiss of death to befriend
Form People
Clever ones, beware of their deeds untold
Their hearts are cold
They love only forms
Only forms
They love forms
They love only forms
Only forms
They love forms
Even though Canadians rounded up and turned over by FATCA to the IRS are advised NOT to go to these people for help, for example, on whether they should or should not comply with laws of of a foreign government, or whether they are in fact a U.S. person, some will go stampeding to “Form People” for that first pass advice.
Form People (also known as “compliance condors” or “compliance vultures”) are mostly honest and hardworking, but they live in a special world — a world in which forms are sacred.
“Tricia and Stephen,
You are absolutely right when you say that “Wonderful World of Forms, Threats and Penalties” is completely normal from the perspective of the Compliance Condor. In fact, for most of them, the completion of forms is the fundamental obligation of citizenship (or at least U.S. citizenship).
Furthermore, very few of them see the system of taxes, forms as penalties as being immoral. They just see it as normal.
One could say that the Compliance Condors work “within the system”. But, the truth is that the Compliance Condors “Are The System”.
They make it work. They shape the law. They shape the expectation of the law. Once one Condor begins filing a specific form (example 3520 for the TFSA) the other Condors are sure to follow.
Because Condors are “Inside The Form” looking only at the Form, they can’t imagine what it means to be “Outside The Form” looking in. They can’t see the immorality, the injustice, the waste of human resource and the dehumanizing of the individual. In fact the Compliance Condors “aid and abet” each of these things – they take pride in doing it.
But, there’s much more.
In the “Form Industry” there is a hierarchy of forms. Those who are most experienced assist with the most complex forms.
Imagine the day in the life of a Compliance Condor when he/she reaches the point where he is assigned a 5471 [anyone out there own a Canadian (i.e. “foreign”) corporation?] or an 8621 [how about a single share of a passive investment company?].
After all, those who are most junior would start with an FBAR or perhaps a schedule B. The value of a Compliance Condor is a function of the forms to which he is entrusted. His sense of “self worth” is defined by the form that he is assigned.
A Compliance Condor would start the day by looking the mirror and saying:
“In forms we trust”.
The most dedicated Condors dream of Forms.
But, they do more than dream about Forms. Because their identity is a function of their forms, many of them go further than dreaming about forms. Those who are most dedicated actually dream about being specific line numbers on different forms . In social settings they confide about their dreams to other Condors.
In the industry, these are known as “Form Dreams”.
So, yes when the Compliance Condors write about FATCA, FBAR and other sacred instruments of confiscation, they are being sincere. They believe are being helpful.
They are NOT being dishonest And above all else, they are simply writing about the world they way they see it and the way they experience it.
And that Dr. Reader is exactly the problem!
P.S. Avoid “Form Crime” – The Compliance Condors will love you!”
— THIS SAINTLY MAN, revered by all FORM PEOPLE (and by the happily IRS compliant worldwide), is the CREATOR of the FORMS:
Thanks once again, Em. You out-do yourself with each new paradoodle.
Beautiful, EmBee.
Dance like a butterfly, sting like EmBee.
Honest, I will stop after this … besides I’m running out of usable rhymes for “things”.
More Favourite Things
John at his meetings helps people find answers
When captured on camera he moves like a dancer
So many sources from which hope can spring
These are a few of my favourite things
Plaintiffs with courage, both sugars and spicers
Arvay and Gruber, their expert advisors
Winning the lawsuit, what joy that will bring
These are a few of my favourite things
Vatican donor and those from all over
Know that a victory puts them in clover
Everyone hopes that their hearts will soon sing
These are a few of my favourite things
When the trolls bite
When their words sting
When I’m feeling sad
I simply remember my favourite things
And then I don’t feel so bad
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind?
Should our dear plaintiffs be forgot,
and old lang syne?
CHORUS:
For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we’ll overthrow the IGA,
for auld lang syne.
And sure you’ll put your money in!
and surely I’ll put mine!
And we’ll fund the FATCA challenge yet,
for auld lang syne.
CHORUS
And there’s a hand my trusty friend!
And give me a hand o’ thine!
And we’ll all support ADCS,
for auld lang syne.
@ AnonAnon
Thank you. Indeed “times gone by” and we will not forget who (Ginny and Gwen) and why (our cause is just) as we head into the challenge of ADCS 2015.
Berg continues to laud the forcible imposition of US FATCA extortion and the FATCA IGA, regardless of the surrender of Canadian sovereignty, the abrogation of our Charter rights and Constitution, and the expense to be borne by ALL Canadian taxpayers, citizens and permanent residents;
FATCA in Canada: The Restriction on the
Class of Entities Subject to FATCA
Roy A. Berg and Paul M. Barba*
Canadian Tax Journal 2014, Volume 62, Issue Number 3
pg.587
fulltext available at
http://www.ctf.ca/CTFWEB/EN/Publications/CTJ_Contents/2014CTJ3.aspx
Note that the Harper government can’t even give a straight answer about just exactly how much money in the millions they’re asking for in order to put the CRA to work as agents of the IRS and US Treasury on Canadian soil:
See chain of questions and responses here;
http://openparliament.ca/committees/finance/41-2/63/guy-caron-5/
3:45 p.m.
NDP
Copy this link:
Guy Caron Rimouski-Neigette—Témiscouata—Les Basques, QC
“Thank you very much.
I realize you weren’t able to answer that question, but perhaps you can answer this one.
When the committee was studying the matter, the department wasn’t able to provide us with the costs of the agreement, for either the agency or the financial institutions. Do you now have that information, from the moment when the funding for implementation is released?
3:45 p.m.
Assistant Commissioner, Legislative Policy and Regulatory Affairs Branch, Canada Revenue Agency
Rick Stewart
The costs that we are working with for our ability to implement the obligations that we have to administer this agreement is funding of, I believe, $15.7 million or $15.8 million, which has been allocated to the CRA to implement this over these next few years.
Those costs are principally intended to support the costs of implementing a new electronic form for mandatory filing for financial institutions to be able to file their obligations to us, a database in which we would be able to receive and store that information, and the tools to give us the ability to select files from that database for subsequent transmission electronically to the Internal Revenue Service in order to comply with those obligations.”
http://openparliament.ca/committees/finance/41-2/63/mike-allen-1/
December 3rd, 2014 / 4 p.m.
Conservative
Mike Allen Tobique—Mactaquac, NB
“Thank you very much, Mr. Chair.
Thank you to our witnesses for being here.
I want to follow up with a few questions with respect to the intergovernmental agreement and FATCA.
I think, Mr. Huppé, you talked about $2.4 million to implement the intergovernmental agreement with the U.S.
Then, Mr. Stewart, you talked about $15 million allocated over the next few years to enable the implementation of FATCA.
Just how do the $2.4 million and the $15 million work in the estimates?
4 p.m.
Chief Financial Officer and Assistant Commissioner, Finance and Administration Branch, Canada Revenue Agency
Roch Huppé
In the estimates process, the $2.4 million is what we’re seeking to bring in for 2014-15 expenses related to this. So yes, it’s included in that $15 million.
4 p.m.
Conservative
Mike Allen Tobique—Mactaquac, NB
How many years do you figure it’s going to take to round this out? Will it be five years before you meet all the objectives?
4 p.m.
Assistant Commissioner, Legislative Policy and Regulatory Affairs Branch, Canada Revenue Agency
Rick Stewart
I have the number of years.
Let me clarify. If I said $15 million, I believe I misspoke. If I might be permitted to correct myself, it’s $5.8 million over the period 2014-15 to 2018-19.
4 p.m.
Conservative
Mike Allen Tobique—Mactaquac, NB
Okay.
4 p.m.
Assistant Commissioner, Legislative Policy and Regulatory Affairs Branch, Canada Revenue Agency
Rick Stewart
The bulk of those resource requirements are in 2014-15, because we’re setting up the front-end system to be able to receive and transmit the information. Then there are some smaller amounts on an ongoing basis in those outer years to manage the ongoing vetting and assure ourselves that the information is of good quality.
4 p.m.
Conservative
Mike Allen Tobique—Mactaquac, NB
Okay. Basically it’s $2.4 million in 2014-15 and then another $3 million or so spread out over the next four years.
4 p.m.
Chief Financial Officer and Assistant Commissioner, Finance and Administration Branch, Canada Revenue Agency
Roch Huppé
Absolutely. This is what was officially announced as new funding for the CRA to move on this.”
A Supporter couple just sent me this variation on “Draft Dodgers Rag” by Phil Ochs. I am old enough to remember his songs which were popular when I was in (U.S.) college.
Wikipedia describes Ochs (1940-1976) as an “‘American protest singer’ who …performed at many political events during the 1960s counterculture era, including anti-Vietnam War and civil rights rallies…
Politically, Ochs described himself as a “left social democrat” who became an “early revolutionary” after the protests at the 1968 Democratic National Convention in Chicago led to a police riot which had a profound effect on his state of mind.”
@ Stephen Kish
I love Phil Ochs (bless his defiant, non-compliant soul) and this song in particular. (Wish he were still with us to continue the protestations.) And now I love this parody from our “supporter couple”. Being old myself (I’m aging in doggy years — figure I must be about 80 or thereabouts), I can relate to some of those ailments and I think we can all empathize with those fears. Here’s the youtube of “Draft Dodger Rag” for anyone who wants to sing along.
Stephen,
What would many of my time (me now a 71 year-old Canadian) think of the link I put here? https://isaacbrocksociety.ca/media-and-blog-articles-open-for-comments/comment-page-100/#comment-5105875?
My response is “I won’t settle for anything but Freedom”: https://isaacbrocksociety.ca/2014/12/31/its-time-to-seize-the-day-dont-let-fatca-obscure-the-need-to-abolish-u-s-extra-territorial-taxation/comment-page-2/#comment-5105397
@EmBee, my favorite Phil Ochs song, which I suppose is a sad song, is “When I’m gone”.
It ends with:
“And I won’t be laughing at the lies when I’m gone
And I can’t question how or when or why when I’m gone
Can’t live proud enough to die when I’m gone
So I guess I’ll have to do it while I’m here
There’s no place in this world where I’ll belong when I’m gone
And I won’t know the right from the wrong when I’m gone
And you won’t find me singin’ on this song when I’m gone
So I guess I’ll have to do it, I guess I’ll have to do it
Guess I’ll have to do it while I’m here”
@Calgary,
Phil Ochs, if he were with us today, would understand and approve of all of your actions without any exception.
@ Stephen Kish
Lovely to come back from the post office to find another Phil Ochs song. I think the ADCS team will like what I put in the mail today.