We haven’t heard from Steven for a couple of days. I hope Jack and Jill haven’t turned Steven into Humpty Dumty.
Maybe Canadian border officials detained Steven at the Peace Bridge as he tried to sneak into Canada disguised as the Big Bad Wolf on his way to help Little Red Riding Hood’s Grandma (the one Ambassador Jacobsen insisted the IRS wasn’t after!).
We know for certain that Little Red Riding Hood and Grandma are Canadian citizens because Little Red Riding Hood wears only Red–not Red, White and Blue.
To Issac Brock Border Guards: I know you must deport Steven for trying to illegally practice law in Canada. First, please stamp Steven’s American passport with a big Red Canadian Maple Leaf. Steven will then, of course, be forever identified as a “Canadian person.” Under “reciprocity” between CRA and IRS. Steven will be responsible for Canadian income tax returns forevermore.
Although CRA Tax Code is much simpler than the IRS Code, Steven must retain a tax lawyer and accountant because he does not have a good understanding or knowledge of the Canadian tax laws or requirements.
In fairness, to prevent double taxation, Steven will, of course, receive credit for taxes he pays in U.S. Because Canadian taxes are much higher, Steven will still have a huge bill owing to Canada each and every year. Steven also cannot deduct mortgage interest from his Canadian income tax, so this will increase his annual tax owing. Steven, the good news is you won’t have to pay capital gains on your home when you sell it.
Steven must also report all his assets (including his foreign owned home where he lives) to CRA each year as off shore holdings. Failure to do so will result in massive penalties. Now, Steven, I realize you may not think this is fair, but it’s The Law.
Thanks, Steven, for your fine contributions to funding Canadian health care services for Little Red’s Grandma.
We really do like you Steven! We just don’t want you or the moral, intelligent, educated lawyers in Washington to illegally smuggle American values and laws into Canada in Little Red Riding Hood’s basket for export to the rest of the world.